Saturday, November 13, 2010

And Then I Looked Up

Then I looked up and I was teenager. I was almost out of high school, had plans of being a "big time" business woman with a company of my own. Pinstriped suits, fancy cars, and flights all over the world were on the menu. I was going to live in a big house, have children late (sometimes I thought I wouldn't have them at all and SO incredibly glad I changed my mind) and focus on my career.

Then I looked up and I was in college. There, most young women (that I met) wanted to have a great career, get married, buy a house and have children. I still wanted to have a power career, now get married (possibly) and wait to have children; maybe not at all. I pledged Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated during my sophomore year, made great friends and enjoyed my time there. It was one of the most incredible and life changing times of my life. HIU. I love you!

Then I looked up and I was at Temple University, where I finished my last year of college. My mother couldn't afford to let me finish at Hampton (although it is very much still my Alma Mater). I cried and cried that summer. For me Temple was like the first year of work rather than the last year of school. I was a commuter and given my resentment for having to leave Hampton, I refused to engage. As far as I was concerned, I graduated from Hampton and this was a formality.

Then I looked up and I was out of school and working for Prudential Insurance Company in a financial role. Working 'til the wee hours of the morning and making great money. I was traveling around the country and abroad with friends; attending jazz festivals, NBA All Star games, movie premiers and everything in between. I was becoming and life was grand.

Then I looked up and I had moved to Boston. I was still working in a financial capacity, had stopped traveling as much, was planning on getting married and having children (2 to be exact) and now looking forward to climbing the corporate latter. However, I also have a side business on personal brand (now called Evidently Assured).

Then I looked up and I was married, working in corporate America (in Finance) and having a baby. I only traveled for work and my thoughts of running my company were not as present, but always remained in the back of my mind. I still ran Evidently Assured part-time. I ultimately had 2 beautiful boys (and they continue to be the joy of my life and little beacons of light), was married for 9 years, living middle class and becoming. . .but who?

Then I looked up and I panicked. I didn't recognize myself. The dreams I had, though distant for many years, were surfacing fast and furious. I was a at a crossroads. By all accounts and for what many people hope for, I should have been happy. I had a great job, a great husband, 2 amazing children, a connected network of people and a supportive family. Why couldn't I just settle in? Because it wasn't completely authentic. I truly believe I was always meant to be a mother, a business owner, an inspiration through my life and an encourager, a traveler and a connector; the rest is still being written.

Then I looked up and I was divorced, out of corporate America and running my brand and communications firm full time, mothering the loves of my life, traveling, reconnecting with my friends, meeting new and amazing people, exploring and discovering more of the authentic me that I've always known somewhere, but had forgotten. I was happy.

Then I looked up and I was living my truth.

PS. The point is to stay on the journey. Detours are fine. They are great teaching moments in life. Have no regrets. Don't run. Sit still and find out what's going on. The answer isn't always to leave the situation; no matter if it's work, community involvement or a romantic relationship. Live your truth!

1 comment:

  1. Keep on living the truth, it will always set you free! Fly Monica, fly!!