Once we decide that something is, we use only that information that confirms our vision to move forward. We do it when it comes to our potential mates, careers, majors in school, children's progress, and other situations that I'm sure you can name. Brafman & Brafman say in the book Sway, that "Once you get a label in mind, you don't notice things that don't fit within the categories that do make a difference".
Let's talk about a few situations where this might happen. You've grown up thinking that you were going to be a famous writer, encouraged by your teachers, parents and family friends. Why? Because you've always been so good at literature and writing. Well, it seems reasonable to you given that you have done well in writing and the word "famous" certainly appeals to you. It's now time for college and you major in journalism and minor in literature. Things are going great.
Time to find a job. You do; at a one of the leading newspapers in Chicago. Life is great! . . .until you realize that the job requires you to talk to people all the time, attend many events off hours and is very cut throat. Hmmm. You think, is this what I signed up for? Is this really on the way to my dream life? Yes, you think, remembering the "great job" label that you and others gave to it in the beginning.
Well, the truth may be that you are primarily and introverted person (meaning you get your energy from being alone) who enjoys one on one time with people, spending evenings with family and friends and actually prefer solving problems everyday over writing. What can you do? Re-evaluate your definition of good job based upon your desired life, not LABELS.
More to come. Stay tuned. . .